Wish I'd Thought This Up

Unfortunately, I don't know who to cite as author of this. It came my way via email. Whoever wrote it, thanks for the laugh and I hope you don't mind me posting it.

SUPREME COURT OVERTURNS GORE'S ENDORSEMENT OF DEAN

Transfers Nod to Bush in 5-4 Decision

Just moments after former Vice President Al Gore endorsed former
Vermont Governor Howard Dean for President in Harlem yesterday, the Supreme
Court overturned his endorsement by a 5-4 margin.

The Court, finding the former Vice President's endorsement of Mr.Dean
unconstitutional, transferred his endorsement to President George W.
Bush instead. Writing for the majority, Chief Justice William Rehnquist
said, "There's really no explanation necessary - we're the Supreme
Court, and if you don't like it, you can stick it where the moon don't shine."

While some Democrats howled that the Court was inappropriately
politicizing itself with its controversial decision, Mr. Gore accepted the ruling,
saying, "After four minutes of partisan wrangling over this matter, it is
time for us to move on."

Mr. Gore expressed some regret that his endorsement had been transferred
from Mr. Dean to Mr. Bush, but added, "It'll be nice to be on the winning
side for a change."

But Mr. Gore's endorsement could turn out to be a mixed blessing for the
Bush campaign, as a survey of those who heard Mr. Gore's Harlem speech
showed that 55% felt "drowsy" while 40% "lost consciousness altogether."

In other political news, Senator John Kerry (D-Mass) decided today to
reinvent his campaign once more, officially positioning himself as
"the most potty-mouthed candidate ever to run for President." In an
interview with Rolling Stone released today, Mr. Kerry said, "If anyone fu*****
says that I'm not fu***** qualified to be fu***** president, I'm going to fu**
them up."