Bringing out a New Product in August

I guess someone managed to get the tin-eared political team of Bush and Rove (the Boris and Natasha--or perhaps the twin Snidely Whiplashes of national politics) to listen for a few moments. CNN reports that "Turning the Corner," a phrase pulled from the Herbert Hoover book of campaign strategy (probably sitting unread on the Dauphin's small book shelf, next to well worn copies of The Pet Goat* and The Very Hungry Caterpillar). It seems as if "turning the corner" has entered the netherworld of Bush slogans, a la "Mission Accomplished:"

The Democratic National Committee released a statement, highlighting Bush's tinkered message, along with a new Web ad.

With the words "Oh, really?" on the screen, the ad compares the "turning the corner" line to "mission accomplished." That was the banner prominently displayed behind Bush on May 1, 2003, when he declared an end to major combat operations in Iraq. The year that followed saw a rise in deaths and violence in Iraq.

Link.

Meanwhile, Lynne Cheney, she of "straight talk," managed to sound utterly oafish in her misinterpretation of the term "sensitive," which not only connotes the kind of TLC her husband is incapable of providing, but also means discriminating, judicious or acute. Lynne might be more familiar with antonyms--she and her Dick of a husband (more on him in a second) could be the picture next to definitions for dense, dull, imperceptive, obtuse, slow, or stupid. Lynne, you say you like straight talk? Why don't you go Cheney yourself.

Apparently, that's what the Kerry campaign suggested, albeit a bit more subtly, when they opined that the question was the political equivalent of setting a softball up on a tee (and swinging the bat for her).

Dick got in on this as well, warming up to the crowd the way a wino warms up to a bottle of Thunderbird. And as for the Dauphin himself? Well, like anyone who's managed to read almost two whole books, Georgie Dubya is feeling quite proud of himself. Like a man who refuses to admit he's lost, Bush came out with the following bon mots:

"I know what I'm doing when it comes to winning this war, and I'm not going to be sending mixed signals,"

"Saddam Hussein was a threat. And I want you to remember, he was a threat because he behaved like a threat."

"What is America trying to accomplish -- what we're going to accomplish is a free society in the heart of a -- in the heart of a part of the world where people are desperate for freedom."

"I was having dinner with Koizumi, who is the Prime Minister of Japan, and we were talking about how to keep the peace in North Korea. Think about what - - think about that for a second, the American President and the Prime Minister of Japan, former enemies, countries were former enemies. Maybe some of you here in the audience were fighting the Japanese in World War II. His dad was, and my dad was, and I bet a lot of other dads were, as well. And here we are now, sitting down at the same table, talking about peace with a former -- and you know why I was able to do so and other Presidents were able to do so -- is because after World War II, we believed so strongly in liberty that we worked with the Japanese to develop a society that was self-governing, that believed that -- based upon the principles of human dignity and human rights and human freedom."

However, these, um, examples of "oratory," (using the most generous definition of the term) were exceptions. CNN lets the cat out of the bag, as it were, noting that

In keeping with Bush's custom, most of the event was devoted to a speech by Bush and then to testimonials from people hand-picked by the White House extolling the virtues of his policies.

The queries put to Bush in the question-and-answer session were never hard-hitting, and were often not questions at all.

Samples questions on Wednesday:

Can I take a picture with you?

Can I introduce you to my wife and mother in law?

I want you to know that I'm praying for you.

If this is the best they've got--the political equivalent of cheap, off-brand deviled ham (if not Vienna Sausages), then expect Team Bush to start slinging mud with a howitzer--and continue to introduce "new, improved" versions of the same old tripe they've been hawking since 1999.

*--The Pet Goat isn't really a book on its own, but part of the instruction book "Reading Mastery" by McGraw-Hill.