Friday, June 24, 2005

Planet Cheney, Part II

Forget about "secure, undisclosed location." I'm beginning to think the Vice pResident is in an alternate universe:

"We will succeed in Iraq, just like we did in Afghanistan. We will stand up a new government under an Iraqi-drafted constitution. We will defeat that insurgency, and, in fact, it will be an enormous success story."

Hmmm.

A recent surge in fighting has raised fears that an Iraq-style quagmire is developing in Afghanistan just months ahead of key legislative elections.

American fighter planes bombarded a southern Afghanistan rebel hide-out with missiles and bombs Tuesday, killing up to 76 insurgents in one of the deadliest single clashes since the Taliban's ouster in 2001.

At least 12 Afghan police and soldiers also died in the fighting and five U.S. troops were wounded.


And, see Dick parse:

"If you look at what the dictionary says about throes, it can still be a violent period, the throes of a revolution," he said.

As for Osama bin Laden, well, Dick seems annoyed that anyone even remembers the guy:

Pressed on when bin Laden might be captured, he said, "What, do you expect me to say: Three weeks from next Tuesday?"

Hey Dick--how about sometime BEFORE September 11, 2001, you pathetic failure. Or, given that you and your administration did fail to protect the public that day, why not begin a concerted effort to actually capture or kill him, as opposed to the candy-assed plan you adopted in November/December of 2001--which allowed bin Laden to escape.

Oh, and speaking of candy-assed, Dick tells you a lot about himself when asked to describe Guantanamo:

"They're living in the tropics. They're well fed. They've got everything they could possibly want," the vice president said.

That's right--what Dick Cheney wants is a good meal, a place in the tropics--and a warm place to take a shit.

Cheney also trotted out yet another WWII reference, although this time instead of claiming the occupation is just like postwar Germany and Japan, he moved the timeline back to the Battle of the Bulge and Okinawa...which, now that I think about it, suggests that "Mission Accomplished" was a big old fish story. (Lemon fish?)

If it is lemon fish, here are the two vegetables:

No heart, and no brain.

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