Fuel Adjustment


The Decider came out today with his own proposal to counter rising gasoline prices, saying that while supplies of crude might be in a tight market, his own "special" brand of snake oil was available in abundance...and, not only will it power "the vehicle you see behind me, which I really want you to drive away in TODAY," it would also "cure rheumatism, warts, bunyans, high blood pressure, vapors, arthritis, phlebitis, impotence, and a host of other ailments," as well as provide us with "the key ingredient we need to bring about a successful conclusion to the war in Iraq."

The president made these remarks while alternately leaning on a beater car a late model automobile or standing on a soapbox. His political advisors tell us he plans to continue with his traveling circus on a "nationwide" tour, exulting his "miraculous elixir."

Interestingly, Karl Rove hasn't been seen much of late--rumors persist that he spends most of his time in or around the White House sauna/steamroom, dressed in a sweatsuit...