Thursday, June 15, 2006

Introducing: The All-New 2006 Object of Hate

This one comes fully loaded. The picture's deliberately fuzzy, so as to facilitate true, Emmanuel Goldstein-esque fits of fury. This year's model also has several other advantages, beginning with the fact that last year's model, is, well, dead:


Ahem...now, directing your attention BACK to Abu Ayyub al-Masri (Continental, Mark IV), you'll notice the requisite dark, but, at the same time, almost Europeanish complexion...with just enough touch of French to infuriate all you NASCAR dads! But, there's still plenty of good old Middle Eastern smarminess...I mean, look at those clothes! Those beady eyes, riveted and revealing, yet, cold and distant, too. Take this one around the block once or twice and figuratively whack him upside the head with a baseball bat. That'll help take your mind off your lousy, low-paying job, the awful milestone of 2500 soldiers killed in Operation Deny Reality, the epic incompetence in dealing with the Gulf Coast storms and floods last year...not to mention the ongoing NON-pursuit of mass murderer Osama bin Landen, um, I mean Laden. After all, who cares if your rights are crumbling away faster than a car bomb can be detonated in Sadr City?

Yep, this one should get quite a bit of mileage...provided the media goes along (see: sucker, one born every minute...and probably employed by The New York Times).

Yep...the all new, all improved, 2006 Object of Hate®. Look for it today on Faux News.

And remember: "From a marketing point of view, you don't introduce new products in August."

No comments:

Post a Comment